Suburban
Peter Tanyanyiwa Suburban Reporter
Representatives of men in Harare converged Saturday at the newly refurbished Londoners’ public house at Strathaven Shopping Centre and made a resolution to launch a series of their safe space engaging forums which they call, “Real Men’s Conference.”
Padare /Enkundleni, which is a forum on gender issues, organised Saturday’s event.
Mr Nixon Nembaware, the moderator at the weekend event, posed the main question at the discussion: why is it that men find it difficult to speak out?
The question triggered a round of emotional contributions from the participants with many reaching a conclusion that there is need for serious engagement to make sure that both women and men can understand gender equality and learn to tolerate each other.
Prominent musician Leonard Zhakata was part of the panelists.
The legendary Zhakata shared notes with men saying they have to adapt to being equal with women and embrace the change positively.
“Things have changed from how they used to be. As men we should adapt and embrace equality with our women counterparts and this will relieve us of some of the pressure on men which came with patriarchy. It is important for men to understand that even if their women are earning more than them they are still the man of the house, nothing has changed and they would have not been stripped of their fatherhood,” said Zhakata.
Another panelist Mr Nakai Nengomasha said men are also victims of patriarchy themselves. He encouraged men to feel free to open up about what will be happening in their lives.
“What the world doesn’t realise is that men were also victims of the patriarchal world. They had unrealistic and unreasonable expectations on them and they are expected to behave in some way which is totally wrong. This is what we don’t talk about. Everyone just assumed that men chose what was happening in the patriarchal world but it was chosen for them and it was a script which they were supposed to follow and many were just tired which is why they joined women and fought for equality.
“Women talk and they always engage each other. This is important for a sound mental health. Men should do the same. It’s important to just find another man, may it be a friend or colleague but someone we can confide in, the good and the bad days so that we don’t bottle that inside and become walking time bombs,” said Mr Nengomasha.
Padare /Enkundleni programmes officer Mr Paul Vingi they organised the inaugural real men’s conference after realising that men do not have safe spaces where they can talk on their own and guide each other.
He said this was the first of many conferences to come.
“We realised that men don’t have safe spaces to talk about their issues in Harare and we came up with the idea of hosting this real men’s conference and because of the overwhelming response we got we are going to make this a series of conferences. No matter how strong a man is we all need to share our issues and talk about them as a gender, not talking about such issues as men has led to mental health problems, substance abuse and even arrests (after crime). So we want to prevent all these mishaps through providing a platform for men to talk, advise each other and share their hearts out,” said Mr Vingi.
Dr Hosea Mapondera from the Men’s Clinic encouraged men to go for regular medical checkups and do constant exercises as it helps their masculinity in every way.
Dr Mapondera said men’s sexual health has some stigma attached to it. He said men’s sexual health issues needs attention as they have been neglected for long.
“Men feel that they can’t present to a doctor their sexual health problems as they feel ashamed because there is a certain stigma attached to it. It’s time that men’s issues are addressed because men are humans just like us and they have real problems. Men have been neglected in society everything out there from non-governmental organisations to donors they cater for women’s issues, from breast and cervical cancer awareness and screenings. Men actually have real problems. Problems that face men are several. Things like prostate cancer, men don’t have to die from it. There’s not much of it in terms of awareness and screening,” said Dr Mapondera.
